Through the hallway, into the bedroom, back through the hallway and upstairs to glare at my computer. Everything looks so dull without the lights on. Everything seems so boring without power. “Beep!” It knows I’m watching. It’s screams for help only mean that it needs the electricity as much as I do. At least someone understands. Back to the kitchen, more dull counters and floors. My eyes wander to the fifty dollar electric blender that I saw on a website and just had to have. What good does it do me now? Suddenly, as I look longer at it, the thing I want most in the whole universe is to use that blender, to blend something together inside it. Of course, without electricity, I can’t, and that just frustrates me even more. “Beep,” I hear from upstairs. “Beep” is what it says, but what it means is “you never use that fucking blender. You probably never will. You just want to because you can’t.” “Beep.” Fuck you, computer. Maybe it’s right, though. Of course it’s right. How could the. I might have to delegate that. I read them over and didn't see anything amiss. Only one dead guy and he did it to himself during his capture. There was a box for the supervising official that was circled in red. I assumed Wanda was telling me to initial it. I did and was trying to figure out what to do with them when Wanda placed two wooden trays on my desk. In small brass letters one said "In" and one said "Out." I smiled and slid the papers in the out basket. She pointed to the "in" basket to show me more paper. Darn.These were Bureau changes that I needed to be aware of. I read them, noting there were holes in them. I pulled a binder out that had "FBI" on it, and it already had some older bulletins in it. I snapped them in and called downstairs to see if Jan wanted to do our required practice with me. She did, so I advised Wanda where I was headed and she said, "May I come with you, please? I want to become more proficient. You have made me have the desire to become a better.
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